sesam.hu

Engineering Manager | Trail Runner | Stockholm, Sweden

Man, you are good

"Man, you are good!"

Previously I had the disciple not to do some things I thought are worthless and dumb. This included watching endless and meaningless TV series and reading human-interest magazines. Now I pretty much failed in keeping those two. For I do watch TV series, even dumb ones occasionally, because there are times when my mind is tired that I find comforting just to lean back in an armchair in front of the television and just watch not think. And in evenings when my family is gathered in the living room where the TV stands we sometimes watch these with half an eye while talking.

As for magazines I read them only when I find one at home in which there is an article about a person I am interested in or I like. I still try to avoid being seen when doing so. :) These are papers made just to pull tons of money out of our pockets every month in my opinion and I don't like to be caught.

But last time I read an article I found something that I have to admit is very true and very important. A Hungarian actress was talking about her experiences in a shooting that took place in New York: 'In the US people keep telling you how good you are and how good you are doing. And after that they tell you how can you improve, what should you do even better. In Hungary it is pretty much the opposite. And I liked how they do it in the US much more.'

This is truly true. Here we are always told how bad we are and how much we should improve compared to others. Even in the university. Before I failed my analysis exam I have heard two students talking. They said that they overheard a conversation between two teachers and they said that they plan 80 students to fail this year, and whatever comes that number must be filled. So should we have been the best students ever, all of us being a natural born genius in maths still 80 of us would have failed. So encouraging, isn't it?

Anyway I am sure a more positive attitude towards others should be introduced here. The thought of being good makes us better without any other effort. And the thought can be implanted with words, with the compliments of others. And honestly saying to someone: 'Hey, you are great, you do very well, and if you do this thing a little more, you will be awesome' shouldn't be that difficult. And it costs nothing.

snowdrift ante portas

"Snowdrift ante portas"

It has been snowing since Saturday almost continuously. Needless to say that this harsh weather in February is not common here at all. Snowfall resulted in the familiar consequences: problems in transportation. Trains are delayed, buses and trams come and go randomly and even walking on the street is hard due to the thick layer of unshovelled snow covering it.

Not looking at the bad side of all this, the sight of the untouched sea of snow was quite pleasant from the window of the train I travelled on yesterday. I guess it is even better for the crops because covered with the soft and warm white blanket they do not freeze.

Earlier this week I saw 8 Miles in my dormitory. I have to admit that Eminem and his music weren't my favourites ever. This is why I was greatly surprised by the film. The plot of 8 Miles is not very original if you look at it, almost fairy tale-ish but the way it is presented is still very good. The part of Detroit where the blacks live has its own rules. Escaping from there is hard, only but a few can achieve it, though everyone seek it. You have not too many choices, out of which music is one.

It must have been hard to grow up among black people being the only white. Not because of any racism but the pure fact that if you differ from the mainstream either positive or negative, you are always disliked. This is the human nature. But all is not this dark: when Rabbit defeated everyone in rap-battle he was looked upon even by those who previously spat at him. And a moment like that though cannot erase the past scars but can fill the soul with satisfaction and strengthen for the next challenge.

I guess I am getting too philosophical, but I cannot help. :) The lion's share of today I spent with webediting, so I really needed some change from divs and hrefs.

The result of today's work can be checked out at {www.aiesec.hu} but as it is yet in Hungarian, if you don't speak the language you can only admire the design. Or frown at it, the choice is open. :)

back 2 the dorm

My Monday and Tuesday happened to be a little... hm... long and tiring. I don't have to get up early thats right but I have classes 'till 6PM. Believe me it is quite a lot. Plus I have many things to do - start-of-the-year-administration kind things - so this is why I didn't update.

New semester means also new subjects out of which Microeconomy was the most interesting. Well we had one lecture and a seminar only but the way we are taught is to my likeness.

Coming back to my dormatory (Previously I used the word accomodation as I thought for some reason that it means a place where university students have rooms. I don't know why though. After seeing Boys&Girls I think dormatory is a better word. However if you are a master in school vocabulary you are free to mail me!) I had the chance to watch 8Miles the day before yesterday and a Hungarian film which doesn't have an English title. I might post something about these but not now. I am tired what more: hungry! So I need to go and eat something before my next class starts. Cya then.

Boys and Girls

New month and this means 40 hours of Internet access in the broad daylight. We had the time of our lives with my brother today being able to play our little team in AO together again. As Jagienka (my high adventurer) is able to supply these youngsters with as much money as possible it is relatively easy to level them. Besides, they are quite uber to their levels as well, so they are pure fun to play.

After AOing I couldn't help but to see Boys and Girls again. The eyes on my desktop demanded it, what more commanded me to do so. So I gave in. :)

I am always troubled when my opinion is asked about movies because I pretty much like all of them. Take Boys and Girls for example. It is obviously not a piece to be awarded by the Oscar but still it can be good in my opinion. It portrays the life of two young people who are going to university and it is quite authentic. Still I wonder what an I-am-a-professional-critic would say about it. After all I do not care as I always have a great time watching it and I always have feelings about it when seen.

If we look at acting I can only say the following: for me a good actor is one who can make me believe that what I see is not him but the character he plays. It is just this simple. Therefore I am very satisfied by the so called 'acting' part in this film.

Some can say a movie should be about something serious: it should have something to say. In this case I do think Boys and Girls have things to say. It does not need to be all the time something that is deep and cunning. Simplicity has its beauties. And no, I am never tired of happy endings or the fact that I know what will happen. It is just good to see that what I expected became true and I can feel relieved and joyful for finally everything turned to be right. There are always things that trouble us, that upset the short-lived balance we sometimes manage to find but if we can look back that previously we succeeded in solving these problems, it might help us to see the brighter side of the world this time again.

I do like films that are 'lighter' in a way. When I don't need to think that much just lean back and enjoy. Laugh at the situations for I have felt some of them myself and let the happiness that is in the movie lighten my heart as well.

Not long ago in a magazine I read an article about a film the title of which I cannot remember. It was a mainly entertaining movie as well lacking any 'worthy' content as some may say. The critic who wrote the article said that it is somewhat like Britney Spears. Many young people simply hate her because her songs have dumb lyrics about nothing at all, she is childish and... really... come on, no one listens to that crap. But even these people cannot deny that at least once they felt the desire to hum one of Britney's songs because they have a catchy tune and when we are happy and we need to express it somehow we can even 'sink to her level'. It is just the human nature.

I think therefore that Boys and Girls is very good. The whole story is cute, Ryan is cool and Jennifer is astoundingly beautiful. (Don't even try to argue that last point :)

killer eyes

I have a brand new desktop background again. It is Claire Forlani (Meet Joe Black, Boys and Girls) in a white summer dress with all her cuteness. Watching her in films I noticed that she can either give a very sharp look or when she smiles her eyes somehow glitter in joy. Those eyes can kill me.

A person who read {Rules are Rules} told me some interesting things about it. He said he didn't like it as it is very pessimistic. In his words: 'It is exactly the {FunCom} way of doing things. They know it is bad but they accept they and won't do anything about it ever.' I can see some truth in these words for it is undoubtly better when you can see the world always positively. However - at least for some people - it is not that easy. If you expect always the worst to come you can be only surprised if something better follows. Waiting for the best to come can result in disappointment many times.

For example if I believed that I would have passed my three analysis exams I would bitterly disappoint myself every single time. In the other hand I will never pass any exam if I don't believe in it. I know it very well. Sadly knowing is one thing and believing is another.

the emo goes out

Tonight I went out (heard that Salvaes? :). I do enjoyed talking to old friends (gosh, I sound like seventy years old...). What I enjoyed less is the way home which is a regular pain for me. At night there are no buses, so all I can do is walk. I am ok with walking but I don't very much like walking alone (in the dark) to home at night. As our family has no car that is not an option either. By the way this results one thing I like about Budapest, there are buses ALL the time.

On second thought there is another choice: somehow change the fact that I need to go home alone (no, forget Maculay Culkin). However at the current status of the world or at the current setting of the stars or really dunno, this in not an option either again. To my great sorrow.

silentio

I am not too happy that the second semester starts very soon. I pretty much got used to my cosy home room and home life during the few days I - finally - could spend here. It is considerably easier to wake up whenever I want, do the stuff I really want to do during the day, sit up late playing AO and sleep in peace. It's not that I live under very bad conditions in Budapest it is just less comfortable to share a five by five room with two others. Plus I have a strange devotion to silence. I mean I like reading and especially sleeping in silence which - mildly speaking - is not exactly the situation there. Anyway it IS better than sleeping in a trench during the second world war with the Germans/Russians/Americans (select the most appropriate for your alignment) constantly firing all over the night, but hey, if one does not whine and desire something better how would the world progress?

concept MMO

I was thinking of a game. Of an MMORPG that is a little different from the ones that exist. Because however magnificent game I think Anarchy Online is, I have an idea, an idea of a game that offers a different kind of gameplay.

This is a game where characters have no levels and there are no experience points either. Just think of it, experience points mean nothing. If I kill only and only one type of mobs in AO lets say I do nothing but hunt cyborgs and level to 200 and another character does many things, goes to missions, hunt at several places and reach the same level our experience points are the same but the actual experience is very different. This is why this point system is not the best.

Let's say I play a hunter in my game. After creating my character I get nothing but the clothes on me. Because I know nothing of the world around me I start to explore. I walk to woods and keep my eyes open. To feed myself I hunt first smaller animals like squirrels and mice. Slowly one can learn how to make a bow and will be able to go for a bigger game.

I do not get any 'points' or 'levels' but I gather real experience through this. I can learn how to skin the animals I kill and how to cook them. I can master in the usage of the flora of the forest as well.

When I die, for example a bear that is too strong for me kills me then my soul leaves my body and reborns in an exactly same one. I can't lose my experience or levels because they do not exist. But I will know where the tree is from which I can make an excellent bow and next time I will be more cunning and use a poison from a deadly plant to kill the bear.

This is hard to realise beacuse many people want a defined goal, they are playing a game only if that offers them levels and power through it. However actual role playing can be reached if we make a game like above.

compromise

The weather was really sad today. You know, everything is grey, the sun has no chance of shining through the thick layer of dark clouds on the sky and a disappointing fog covers the view. The snow has already half-melted as a result of this week's warmer temperature and now it is dirty and grey.

I dug deeper into the secret of Silent Hill today and I enjoyed it as much as one 'enjoys' a horror game. I had to solve a rather nasty riddle in which not the riddle was the tough part but the method of combining two things of your inventory. It is not that obvious if you haven't played any console games before, believe me.

After my brother arrived from school we set up a bunch of neutral-aligned characters and started to play Baldur's Gate in multiplayer. Previously we played a good role which didn't fit my brother's way of playing all the time and playing evil chars didn't work either so we made a compromissum.

A nice day apart from the weather with nothing really to write about.

background

Sleeping 'till eleven plus more Silent Hill 2 today. My art of doing nothing worthy improves with time indeed. Well that is not exactly true because I did do something worthy today, namely site design the results of which can be seen later only. Patience is the key factor of long life.

I changed my desktop wallpaper today. In my opinion it is immensely important what your wallpaper is. You might have to gaze at it all day long if you work on your computer, so it can affect your mood, the success of your work can depend on it! :) From now on I have a Silent Hill 2 wallpaper (a cute girl with a quite deadly sharp knife in her hands) instead of the old Tomb Raider one. Yep, Lara is cool, especially in the Angel of Darkness but it was high time for a change. If you are looking to find some wallpapers for yourself and you are keen on games as well try {GameWallpapers}. It is a good site featuring lots of games and high resolution wallpapers. It used to be more useful but now a 2 wallpaper download per day limit was introduced which is almost nothing. Apart from that, the sevice is good.

Stay tuned.