Engineering Manager | Trail Runner | Stockholm, Sweden


I was informed that Japan’s contestant, Kurara Chibana, came in second at Miss Universe 2006. Well, for all I can say, they should have more girls like her in the streets. (Also speaks good English.) The kunoichihentaimanga national costume even won the Best National Costume award; for better or worse, you decide. As I was told – and I wholeheartedly agree – it was the Japanese who selected her after all, so not all is lost. (i.e.: not everyone tries to be bloody kawaii around here…)

No praise goes to Our Own Contestant however. Her interview is rapidly spreading among Internet communities as the uttermost source of ridicule. Non-German-speakers could check for explanation. (She’s not even pretty…)

Lasty – possibly infringing some copyrights – let’s enjoy some of the best articles of Japanzine online. (The title links take you to a page containig even more. Understanding of Japan is required for the optimal entertainment value. All articles below are © Carter Witt Media 2005)

T-Shirt Makes Sense

Passing native English speakers paused to re-read a young woman’s t-shirt last Sunday after failing to notice any mistakes. Upon review, the shirt apparently contained no errors of grammar, spelling or usage. The garment, white with black lettering, simply read: “Let’s make today a beautiful day.” Those who saw it worried if a prolonged stay in Japan had affected their ability to speak and read English.
The shirt’s owner later complained to police of a large number of sex-obsessed foreigners staring at her breasts.

Last Square Meter of Japanese Wilderness Found, Paved

Construction Ministry officials expressed excitement last Tuesday as they watched the nation’s last patch of wilderness get covered in concrete. The day also saw the unveiling of architect Daisuke Mori’s nationwide “Let’s Enjoy Wild” project, which uses plastic sheets and lights to “convey the peaceful aura of pure nature.”
“Some people are worried that this event will end the steady flow of irrelevant construction jobs and cash to rural Japan,” said Minister Kenichi Ebisawa; “but much of the concrete that we have already laid has become cracked from plant life desperately trying to push through. A second layer of concrete is obviously required.”
Scientists predict that by 2047, the combined weight of concrete will cause Japan to sink into the ocean. Undersea concrete reinforcing pillars are already being planned.

Conjoined Waribashi Separation Goes Awry

Two chopsticks, joined since production, were separated Sunday in what diners had hoped would be a problem-free operation. The two, who shared essential parts, were separated during a three-second operation by experienced diner James Dobinson.
In a public announcement, Dobinson, who appeared emotional at times, explained that one-third of the lower base of the left chopstick could not be removed from the right. As a result, the weaker left chopstick might not survive. For now, both remain under intensive care, and diners are awaiting the results of a ramen.

Additional pages can be found by typing “The Negi” to the search bar on