sesam is Péter Szilágyi, Engineering Manager at IBM Cloud, residing in Budapest, Hungary. This is his playground.

Why We Fight

Whenever I feel down the first thing to notice is the lack of updates here. However much I like writing it’s still work: putting down ideas in a semi-coherent way is a challenge in itself in addition to the time needed to properly research the topic, find or create some images, etc. When the mundane household tasks paired with the brainwashing classes wear me down to an intellectual numbness the last thing I have the energy for is blogging.

Then there’s the fact that wherever I look more talented people produce better quality posts with finer style and better quality content. Usually all of my posts start with me mentally scribbling down a lingering idea. Sometimes I set to put it down at once but more often I just try to hold on to it till the next time I have time to write an entry. Browser tabs containing concepts for writing later usually amount to half the tabs open as well. But then as time passes and I keep researching and pondering more often than not I end up deciding against writing anything considering the uselessness of the attempt to add anything relatively new to the topic.

Basically I have too much time to spend in my head. I suspect a lot more blogging ideas would actually make it to reality if I spent less time meditating and more time writing. However since I live alone and only go to classes and grocery shopping all I have is time to think to myself.