SeSam is Péter Szilágyi, Engineering Manager at Ustream, residing in Budapest, Hungary. This is his playground.


Danger coming up. At school the exam period is approaching at an enormous and unpleasant speed. After Christmas and New Year’s Eve I will have to sit and study. However I have certain fears about this namely the fact that I feel very drawnback in comparison to other students in my group. And this causes me much unrest lately.

Remember that I mentioned I am working on a “secret” project? I guess it doesn’t matter keeping it a secret anymore. I am translating the novel {Rules are Rules} by Ragnar Tornquist. I do not know what do I need to have the rights to translate a short story liek that. I wrote an e-mail to Ragnar for permission that is still unanswered. I don’t think I can do much more about this, so when the translation is ready I will make it available on this site, for I think Rules are Rules is very good but the problem is many of my friends I wanted to show it don’t speak English. This was my main motivation when I started to work on the translation. Pity I couldn’t do it the way I wanted to, i.e. with the author’s permission.

Regardless of the fact that Ragnar keeps ignoring my letters I am reading his {journal}. On 7th December he wrote this: “Of course, I could always get uncomfortably personal and start talking about my feelings. But I don’t think any of us want to go there quite yet.” this made me think about my journal here. Do I write about my feelings? Yes I do. (Here it worths mentioning that in my opinion ragnar does as well.) But I don’t see that as a problem. I was asked by one of my ex-schoolmates a couple of weeks ago if it bothers me that many people I don’t know a heck about can look into me. Well, the original goal of this journal was to provide information about me. If someone is not interested he doesn’t read. So simple. And the ones that read do it for they have found something that interests them. And the question if it was a problem that these people can read about my personal stuff as well… no it’s not. At least not by me. And if the only use of this journal will be that in the far future I will be able to look back and see what kind of a person I was now, it’s OK. A journal is to store events, feelings, motives, any stuff. Not less and not more.